Gaining Ground, but Losing Focus (6/22/2011)

Things have been on the upswing. My emotional state. My hope. My faith. Everything, improving. Things were getting better for my wife as well. Her health seemed to be making progress. Her outlook on life. Her faith and hope… Increasing. It felt like the attacks by our enemy, Satan, were diminishing. Or possibly he was just changing strategy.

His current strategy, was to worsen my wife’s health on the day of our appointments for counseling. We had started the counseling with a super gifted PhD psychologist who is also very much walking with Jesus, so that we could find a better way to cope with all the difficulties that seem never ending in life. But the physical challenges by her health had made this quite difficult to accomplish. Yet, I saw the Holy Spirit at work within my wife!

I had been a serious prayer warrior, seeking God’s provision for her to be able to attend these sessions. Often, there were large health obstacles for her to get past to make it to each session. Once arrived, she was focused, and would really get after it. Engaged with the work God was doing in her… in us. We were seeing definite change and progress within our hearts, spiritual lives, and just day to day living. God was moving! It was becoming easier and easier for my wife to make it to counseling. She no longer had to bring a vomit bucket with her in the car! These abdominal migraines, or whatever you want to call it was finally showing signs of improvement. I thought, “God, you are blessing my wife’s health as we walk forward as you lead!”

But something happened. It was so gradual… I didn’t even notice it until it had completely fallen away. I was no longer my wife’s prayer warrior. I had become lazy… unfocused. A spiritual couch potato. This last counseling appointment, my wife was hit with pain less than one hour before our appointment. She looked totally defeated. She did not make it there. I went alone. As I was driving down the road I began shouting at God. “Father! What’s going on here?! What am I supposed to do now?! Come on God, work good in this! That’s what you do isn’t it? Work good out of the bad?” I went on… “I’m angry, and frustrated. I’m mad! What’s going on?!” God spoke back.

He reminded me of all those times where my wife pushed through the pain and nausea to make it to counseling… he reminded me of how much time and energy I put into praying for her. I’d pray that the work of Jesus Christ on the cross would free my wife. Shield her from the attacks of the enemy. That Jesus himself would summon his angels to fight on her behalf in the spiritual realms. I’d pray for the Holy Spirit to empower her to over come. God then pointed out to me that I did not pray one time for her leading up to tonights counseling session. I lost focus. I got lazy and complacent.

This is a key strategy of our enemy. He may back off a little while so we let our guard down. The he pounds us with a powerful offensive attack. “Father, thank you for showing me where I went wrong. Help me to keep my focus.” Prayer is key. It is not some little thing I do to feel good. It unleashes Holy power! It is indispensable.